


Make An Effort

by 5ftjewishcactus



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Assumptions, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Couch Cuddles, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, Love, No Sex, No Smut, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Nudity, Other, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), non-sexual nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley have been taking things slow in their new relationship following the failed apocalypse. Aziraphale appreciates that Crowley is letting him set the pace, but he's worried about what Crowley expects from the future of their relationship. While Crowley is out one afternoon, Aziraphale tries to consider what it would be like... to make the Effort for Crowley, for their relationship.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 127
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens





	Make An Effort

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by a post that I didn't save and couldn't find now even if I wanted to, but it was basically about Aziraphale making an Effort for Crowley because it's what Crowley would want/expect as a demon. And as a sex-repulsed ace, it just rubbed me the wrong way. So I wrote this fic instead. Both my versions of Aziraphale and Crowley are very ace, very non-sexual beings who love each other very much and would never in a million, billion eons, ask anything more than the other would want to give. To all my fellow sex-repulsed aces, you are wonderful and deserving a love without having to give more than you're willing to.

Things had shifted following the almost apocalypse. For one, Aziraphale and Crowley were now on their own side. They’d turned their backs on Heaven and Hell in a big way. There was no going back. And Aziraphale was fine with that. Mostly fine with it. It was a lot to adjust to certainly, but with Crowley by his side, Aziraphale had no regrets. They were free. Truly free. 

Aziraphale was no longer looking over his shoulder whenever they spent time together. He didn’t have to. He didn’t need to. He could sit on the couch with Crowley. He could hold his hand when they walked through St. James Park. They could dine out at the Ritz and all of Aziraphale’s favorite restaurants every night if they wanted and Aziraphale no longer had to fear someone else showing up. He could kiss Crowley. On the hand. On the cheek. On the lips. And no one could stop them. 

They could spend the night together. Aziraphale still didn’t sleep, but Crowley did. Aziraphale could sit by Crowley’s side while he slept. Crowley could rest his head on Aziraphale’s lap while they sat curled on the couch together. They were free to love each other. Completely and unrestrained. 

Except… Aziraphale still had fears. Crowley was a demon after all. Aziraphale knew what kinds of things demons did. The kinds of things Crowley had done. They had the Arrangement after all. Aziraphale had taken on many of Crowley’s given tasks. Temptations. Many of the sexual nature. Aziraphale had never asked Crowley how he handled temptations. Hadn’t wanted to know, if he was honest. Whenever Aziraphale was the one who ended up with the temptation, he would do the same thing he did with his Heavenly tasks. Encouraged humans to do the actual tempting. It was easier that way. 

Aziraphale knew what Crowley thought. He’d made comments in the past about Aziraphale’s love affair with Oscar Wilde. It had never been physical. He and Oscar. He loved Oscar, platonically. Oscar had adored Aziraphale, but they had never been more than friends. Aziraphale had been lonely at the time, living so many years amongst humans and trying so hard not to get attached as humans didn’t live very long. But when the opportunity to meet one of his beloved authors had presented itself, Aziraphale hadn’t been able to resist. Oscar was good and he was kind and in many ways, he was a kindred spirit. Both had loves they couldn’t admit to publicly. 

Aziraphale never corrected Crowley. He knew he should, at some point. He knew what Crowley must expect at some point. He hadn’t asked yet. They’d been taking things slowly. Aziraphale assumed Crowley was waiting until Aziraphale was ready. Until he was comfortable. Never pushed beyond whatever Aziraphale was willing to give. So far, they never went beyond kisses. Aziraphale liked kisses. He liked kissing, especially kissing Crowley. But he didn’t want more than that. He’d never… had sex. Never made an Effort. Hadn’t seen the point of it, if he didn’t need it. 

But now… well… Crowley would expect it, wouldn’t he? As a demon. The original temper. And sure, his first temptation had been convincing Eve to eat an apple. But that temptation had led to other temptations, which eventually got around to the temptation of lust. And Aziraphale’s current problem. He saw the way Crowley looked at him. He appreciated that Crowley loved him, loved his body, despite its size and shape. Crowley didn’t make it a secret that he appreciated every inch of Aziraphale’s corporation. And Aziraphale knew that love and affection would translate to sex. To their hypothetical sex life. 

He was sure that Crowley would not be turned off by Aziraphale, naked and bare for him to see every inch of him. Every roll and curve and stretch mark. Aziraphale had even tried to imagine it. Imagine what it might be like to have Crowley’s affection for him, while they made love. But even that was too much for Aziraphale. He wouldn’t mind if Crowley wanted to press kisses to his bare stomach or thighs. He’d very nearly waxed poetically about how plump and plush and comfortable those aspects of Aziraphale were when they were curled up together in Crowley’s bed late one night. 

The most skin Aziraphale had so far shown Crowley recently, was his forearms. He’d been organizing the bookshop one afternoon and had rolled up his sleeves to keep them from getting dusty. Of course, it wasn’t like Crowley hadn’t seen other parts of him in their long history together. While Aziraphale now was very comfortable in his well-worn clothing that kept him pretty well covered from the neck down, the fashion over the years had taken a while to reach that point so there had been many years where forearms and calves had been visible. 

Crowley had seen Aziraphale through most of the fashion throughout the years. Even as Aziraphale had struggled to adjust to newer fashions, as he did now. Crowley was much better at it. He was better at so much that Aziraphale felt he lacked in. Which again brought him back to his current predicament. 

Aziraphale had adapted to life with Crowley. He had purchased himself a lovely pair of pyjamas to wear while sitting up at night reading in bed, while Crowley slept. His tailor had been very helpful in acquiring the proper fabrics in which Aziraphale would be most comfortable in. The sleep bottoms and button-up top were a lovely shade of periwinkle blue. Crowley had laughed the first time Aziraphale had exited the bathroom in them, but he’d held Aziraphale and kissed him and told him how lovely and handsome he looked in them, too. He wanted Aziraphale to be comfortable and if that meant ridiculously old fashioned pyjamas, then so be it. 

Aziraphale always changed into them in the bathroom. Crowley would miracle in and out of his various clothes, but Aziraphale needed to keep his normalcy of changing into and out of his. And he wasn’t yet comfortable enough to change in front of Crowley. While Crowley hadn’t said anything about it, Aziraphale worried what Crowley may be thought. Worried that he was making Crowley think he didn’t trust him. Or didn’t love him enough. 

It wasn’t that at all. It was that Aziraphale was scared. He didn’t know how to be naked with Crowley. Not when he worried what Crowley’s reaction would be. What Crowley might want or expect if Aziraphale were every exposed to him in such a way. And oh, even just thinking about it put Aziraphale’s stomach into knots. He loved Crowley. So much. Every fiber of his being. And he wanted, no needed Crowley to know that. 

But he didn’t think he could show him that. Not through sex. It was the one thing that Aziraphale feared would mean the end of their relationship. He couldn’t give Crowley something he wanted. And it made Aziraphale feel like he was somehow failing the being he loved because Crowley gave him so much. Nearly everything that Aziraphale could ever possibly want. And yet, Aziraphale couldn’t do this one thing. 

“I’m going out for a bit, angel,” Crowley said, pulling on his jacket. 

“Oh, well… mind how you go, dearest,” Aziraphale replied. 

He looked up from the book he’d been repairing, his glasses perched on his nose as he looked up at the demon. 

“Love you.” Crowley smiled and leaned in to kiss Aziraphale. “Be about an hour I think. Perhaps we can go out for lunch when I get back.”

“Yes, that would be lovely.”

Crowley winked and pulled on his sunglasses before disappearing out the door. Aziraphale watched through the window as he climbed into the Bentley and drove away. He pulled off his glasses, setting them gently on the desk, and rubbed at his eyes. There was something he’d been trying to get up the courage to do but he needed Crowley to be out in order for him to do it. He’d been waiting for the opportunity, as he didn’t feel like trying to come up with some errand for Crowley to go out for. Felt too much like lying. 

Aziraphale stood and after he made sure the closed sign was flipped and the door locked, he made his way upstairs. He went to the bedroom and shut the door behind him, but didn’t lock it. He went to the wardrobe and opened the door to reveal the large mirror on the inside of the door. He propped it open so it was facing towards the bed. With a deep breath, Aziraphale stood at the end of the bed and faced the mirror as he began to remove his clothes. 

He’d seen his own naked body, as he changed in and out of his clothes. But he’d never seen his own form like this. Directly, through a mirror. He needed to see it. He needed to see what Crowley would see if he ever were able to let him. As he removed each article of clothing and carefully set it aside on the bed, more and more of his corporation became exposed. His pale skin. His golden stretch marks. His plump arms. His round belly. His plush chest. His chubby thighs. His smooth Effortless mound. 

He ran his hands gently over each inch of skin. Over his arms. Across his stomach. He traced his fingers along his golden stretch marks. Caressed his double chin. Put his hands on his wide hips. He stared into the mirror at his reflection. His blue-grey eyes stared back at him. He took in every part of himself. If Crowley wanted, he wouldn’t mind letting him see him like this. But he knew Crowley would want more. 

The angel took another deep breath before focusing on his Effortless mound and tried to think of an Effort. He was man-shaped at the moment, so a phallus seemed most logical. He tried to think about it. On making the Effort. For Crowley. 

Moments passed and nothing happened. No Effort appeared. Aziraphale began to shake. He let his arms hang limply at his sides and let out a ragged breath. Oh, he couldn’t do it. Not even alone. It was too much. Making an Effort would lead to sex and Aziraphale didn’t want to have sex. Not even for Crowley. 

He sank back and sat on the end of the bed. Wrapped his arms around his middle and began to cry. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He didn’t want to lie to Crowley. But he also wasn’t ready to lose him yet. He wanted to be selfish, for just a little bit longer. Keep Crowley close so he could cherish all the time they had together before it was gone. Aziraphale closed his eyes and began to sob. 

Except that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. The longer Aziraphale put it off the worse it would hurt both of them. Aziraphale continued to cry, knowing he was going to lose Crowley. 

Some time later, Aziraphale was thinking he should get dressed again when he heard Crowley.

“Angel, I’m home!” Crowley called. 

Aziraphale stood and grabbed his clothes. “Be just a moment!”

“Are you hiding from customers upstairs now?” Crowley asked. 

“Was just…” Aziraphale struggled to pull on his clothes, hands awkwardly holding his trousers and his shirt at the same time. “…taking care of something.”

“Are you alright, angel?” Crowley asked.

Aziraphale huffed, as he dropped his shirt on the bed again and focused on pulling on his pants and trousers. “I’m fine.”

He hoped Crowley believed him, even as he continued to struggle to dress himself in his haste. He’d barely managed to get one leg into his trousers again when the door handle began to move. Aziraphale had little time to act and hastily covered himself with his clothes, holding his trousers over his Effortless mound and his shirt over his bare chest and stomach. 

“Angel?” Crowley asked, peeking into the room. “What are you doing?”

The bedroom door slowly swung open as Crowley stepped into the room. Aziraphale looked at the demon before him and knowing there was nothing he could say to cover up what he’d been doing, he broke down again. 

“Angel. Aziraphale, please tell me what’s wrong?” Crowley came to stand in front of Aziraphale, awkwardly attempting to reach for the angel but unsure where to put his hands. 

“I’m sorry, Crowley,” Aziraphale sobbed. 

“Whatever it is, it’s okay. I won’t be mad. I promise.” Crowley settled on placing one hand on Aziraphale’s shoulder and the other on his cheek. “Please. What’s wrong, love?”

“I…” Aziraphale took a breath through his sobs. “I don’t want to have sex.”

Crowley frowned, his brows scrunched in confusion. “Is that it?”

Aziraphale nodded. Crowley wiped his thumb along Aziraphale’s cheek, brushing away the tears. 

“Neither do I, angel.”

“You don’t?” Aziraphale asked, through his tears. 

Crowley shook his head. “No. Never have.”

“But you’ve…” Aziraphale sniffled. “You’ve said things.”

Crowley shrugged. “I’m a demon. I said things that I thought I was supposed to. But no… I don’t want it. Never have.”

Aziraphale sniffled again. “Well, now I feel ridiculous.”

“Don’t. I’m sorry if the things I said gave the wrong impression. I shouldn’t have said them.”

Aziraphale nodded. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“We both shouldn’t have.” Crowley glanced down a moment and then looked back at Aziraphale. “I’ll let you get dressed and we can talk more. Yeah?”

“Yes.” Aziraphale nodded again. 

Crowley brushed away a few more tears that lingered on Aziraphale’s cheeks before leaning in to kiss the angel on the cheek. He smiled before he turned and walked back out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. 

Aziraphale let out a shaky breath and gave himself a few moments to recover before he began pulling his clothes back on. Once dressed again, he sat on the edge of the bed and took several calming breaths. He wasn’t going to lose Crowley. His demon still loved him, still wanted to be with him. He knew they’d be okay. 

Once he was ready, he stood and headed out to the living room where Crowley was sitting on the couch. He pat the seat next to him and held out his arms for Aziraphale. The angel smiled and went over, settling himself on the couch and into his love’s arms. Crowley held him tightly, arms wrapped around Aziraphale’s plush middle. 

“So,” Crowley said.

“So,” Aziraphale echoed. 

“You and Oscar never?” Crowley asked.

“No. Never. We were only friends.” Aziraphale reached up to cup Crowley’s cheek. “I’ve only ever loved you, dearest.”

Crowley blushed and kissed Aziraphale’s palm. “Only you, angel.”

“So… you’ve never?” 

“No. It’s very easy to tempt humans into lustful situations with other humans. Never had to be involved myself, beyond the minor temptation.”

Aziraphale nodded. “I’m sor—”

“Nope,” Crowley interrupted. “None of that. No more apologies.”

He leaned in and kissed Aziraphale’s cheek. Aziraphale smiled and turned to kiss Crowley properly. His arms went around Crowley’s neck, as Crowley pulled him closer. It felt like things were settled, that they were good now, as Crowley’s soft lips moved against his own. 

Crowley rested his forehead against Aziraphale’s.

“Promise me, angel,” he said, golden eyes looking into blue-grey ones, “if I ever say anything that bothers or upsets you, you’ll tell me. Please.”

“I promise, darling.”

Crowley smiled. “I promise, too.”

Aziraphale kissed him again, sealing their promise with a kiss. They continued to kiss for several long minutes. Aziraphale really did like kissing Crowley and clearly, the demon enjoyed kissing him too. 

“All better?” Crowley asked.

Aziraphale nodded. “Yes, my dear.”

“Good.” Crowley smiled and leaned in to place a kiss against Aziraphale’s lovely double chin. 

Aziraphale chuckled and tucked himself against Crowley again, happy to be held in his love’s arms. Crowley rested his head against the top of Aziraphale’s head. The angel closed his eyes and contented himself with staying curled against Crowley. He felt silly now, knowing that all his fears had been for nothing and that he wasn’t going to lose Crowley. But he also felt good, because he’d been honest with Crowley and Crowley had been honest with him in turn. He was safe with Crowley. And loved. So very, very loved. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on tumblr [@5ftjewishcactus](https://5ftjewishcactus.tumblr.com/) or on twitter on my main [@5ftjewishcactus](https://twitter.com/5ftjewishcatus) or on my sfw gen fandom [@2ambiace](https://twitter.com/2ambiace) or my dbh [@asexualhankcon](https://twitter.com/asexualhankcon).


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